I Pulled A Muscle Running Errands

I am more than a little embarrassed to share with you this very sad and very true story...........

I pulled a muscle while running errands in my car!

The Facts:

• I spent three hours driving from store to store, running errands. Dropping pants off to be altered at the tailors, picking up beautiful wrapping paper from my favorite paper store in old town Scottsdale, searching for the perfect gold/cream-colored poinsettias for the front entry pots and finishing with a stop at the grocery store for fresh fish and vegetables for dinner.
• I exercise every day.......hour-long early morning walk with Wrigley and friends plus I go to the Village Club and workout at least three times a week.
• I despise running errands and always have, but I also like supporting local shops and feel the need to touch and feel items myself.  

  So, one minute I am a busy little bee, hopping out of my car in rapid fashion and the next minute, I cannot maneuver the car door and my legs at the same time!  Is this one of those "special empty nest moments?!"   I refuse to accept it!  So, the next day, I head out for more shopping, a run to the hardware store and back to the grocery store.  Only this time, I can hardly move.  Flinging the first leg out was so hard. I am pretty sure people around me heard the grunts coming out of my mouth.    And while I am not much of a swearer, my vocabulary choices were guttural at best.

Well, I am here to tell you that while Congress is studying whether a ban on all telephone use in the car because of it's inherent dangers, they should also research the dangers of running errands!  Maybe a ban of running errands is just as valid...... 

Now, here's the part where YOU come in.......Tell me I am not alone: please tell me that you have done something like this before.  I beg of you to share your stories of pulling your muscles while doing mundane, everyday activities.  And if none of you have never had such a ridiculous experience in your life, will you at least appease me with a wonderful little white lie?  Thanks, I love you, too!

3:33 AM Thoughts By The Christmas Tree

3:33 am, sitting in front of the Christmas tree in the den, wondering just how many of my empty nest friends are also awake, staring at a Christmas tree.............................

Insomnia, that terrible four-letter word. Just imagine what all of us 50+ women could do with a week's worth of sleeping through the night!  It would be downright amazing......

And as much as I love my followers, I will end this post in a New York minute if I feel a "sleepy storm" coming on.  I have my priorities..........

That didn't come out very nice, so I apologize for my middle of the night snarkiness....which isn't a word (my spell check suggests my kinkiness). I can honestly tell you I feel nothing kinky at this moment, so it's Beth-1, spell check 0!

So, why are YOU awake at this ungodly hour?   I hope it's for good happy reasons.  Part of the reason I sit typing by the Christmas tree is due to a lot of new, exciting news for Bill and me.  Pretty soon I can share with you what's going on around here, but suffice it to say, there are some big changes for the better for both of us.  With a little luck, things will be really looking up.  But the moments in our lives just before big changes, can be filled with anticipation....sometimes anxiety....sometimes prayer.  Me? I just wake up in the middle of the night and think.....and think, and think, and think.  Oh, and waste a bunch of time tweeting, reading online stuff, and blogging!

Well, whatever is keeping you awake this evening, I wish I could help you.  I wish I could tell you that everything is going to be just fine.  No need to worry.  Go back to bed; the doctors all say, we will lose more weight and have better general health if we can sleep more often and for longer periods of time. That's easier said then done, isn't it?  I will try to take my own medicine and head back to the bedroom.  I will turn off the glowing lights on the Christmas tree now.  I will try to shut down my mind and all the thoughts still rumbling around up there. 

Nighty night.........................

A Sidewalk Chalk Story

It's 4:20 am and like any respectable empty nest parent, I am WIDE awake and looking for things to do.  Yes, unfortunately I have fallen back into the 3-5 am wake up pattern my body seems to love so much.  So, tonight, I have stumbled into one of my children empty rooms to organize............there's always a corner or closet that needs help.  Laura's room is no exception. 

The corner behind her guest day bed is a treasure trove worth of items to organize........I discover a new purse she's never, ever going to use.......I will take it to Goodwill.  There are Christmas balls left over from when she decorated her room from last Christmas...............I will move them into the garage with all the other holiday decorations.  And then I see an odd looking white plastic bag.  It holds  a collection of sidewalk chalk.  The bag is tattered from all the years she would drag the bag out to the driveway to create her masterpieces.  Her sidewalk chalk was probably her favorite playtime activity from ages 4-8.  She's now 21, so who knows why this bag is sitting lodged in the corner of her room now.  I open it up and discover there are at least 12 different pieces in a variety of colors and lengths.  I can see that blue was her favorite because they are the most worn.  She loved the ocean even back then and many a night I would come home from work only to find waves and a beach welcoming me.

I was fortunate enough to have a fantastic nanny who was artistically talented.  Being artistically challenged (remind me to tell you about this weekend's craft project and the kitchen chairs.....), I really appreciated Darcy covering me in the arts projects!  The sidewalk chalk was used to create whole villages or beach scenes and once I arrived home to find the whole Phoenix Suns team laying on my driveway. But my most favorite sidewalk chalk story came on a weekend some 16 years ago......................

I was dating Bill #2....(now husband) and he was extremely helpful around my house.  I lived in a wonderful neighborhood called Arcadia and I had a charming house.  And when I say charming, I mean falling apart.  The windows needed to be replaced.  The carpet was getting dingy and the cedar roof was leaking and would soon need replacing....(hence, the move to North Scottsdale).  It was a beautiful Fall day, and we were all busy doing projects outside around the house.  The boys were playing next door as was often the case when work outdoors was being done.  But Laura was tagging along "helping" us with the weekend chores.  I had decided to tackle the gigantic oleander bush along the side of the house and along the street.  I suggested that during this task it would be best if Laura followed Bill around for awhile.  Bill decided that he needed to do some work on the roof along the edges.  It was a one story home but the roof was filled with branches and debris from the large trees on the property.  Laura followed him along the grass and talked to him as he worked....sidewalk chalk in hand. 

Now, as the story goes, somehow Bill managed to fall off the roof and knocked the wind out of himself.  He landed about 3 feet from where Laura was playing.  She ran over to him and said, "Hey, Bill, what are you doing"......no answer......"are you okay?"........no answer..........."are you dead?".......Bill attempt to muster an answer, but he is in pain and cannot seem to speak........."because if you are dead, I will write your name on the wall with my sidewalk chalk!"  She proceeds to get up and start writing 'BILL' on the brick siding of the house.  Bill looks up and with a grin on his face, says, "I'm not dead Laura, come help me up!"

If you are a parent of young children, I highly recommend you go get some sidewalk chalk.  Sure your driveway will be a mess 90% of the time, but it is so worth it!  And I am ready to go back to bed now, but I decide I should take this chalk down to our great nephew's house so he can make a mess of his Mom's or Grandmom's driveway.  I also think I will save the largest blue piece of chalk to keep in Laura's room.............

(I am participating in the Ultimate Blog Challenge this month)

Lending A Helping Hand

Photo Courtesy of International Orthodox Christian Charities

Lending a hand.........................

Were you brought up in a household that encouraged helping out those less fortunate?  Have you carried that concept into your won adult life?  And have you noticed how good it feels?!

When I was young, my Mom used to drag my sister and me to downtown Chicago where we would deliver whole meals to people (Meals on Wheels).  I use the term "drag" because if you had asked either one of us, it probably wasn't high on our list of things we wanted to do on a Saturday afternoon.  Going shopping in the suburbs and eating lunch at Cock Robin would have been our preference, if anyone had asked us.  But no one did, so off we went to some scary homes and apartments in the heart of the City.  I was often struck by  how neat and clean some of the apartments were of the folks we delivered the food to.

After church, we took the flowers to nursing homes and I vividly remember the stench of the hallways and was glad we were bringing a better smell to those places.  We stuffed envelopes for fundraisers, we cleaned and painted homes for people from a sister church group from a poor rural area.  There were so many "opportunities" presented to us as kids, I think I just got used to this kind of lending a hand to others as routine.

When I got older and had children of my own, I found many ways to introduce the notion of lending a hand to others for the kids.  Plus, our schools and church had the kids running from one volunteer opportunity to another.

Now that the children have left the nest, I find this empty nester involved in new events like the recent fundraiser for Special Olympic of Arizona. I have recently been introduced to the valiant efforts of the IOCC, that offer emergency relief and development programs around the world. But I also have found giving a helping hand at the micro level is very important.  Helping family members around you is very rewarding.   Sometimes, being super supportive of your spouse is where you need to spend a majority of your time and effort.

Whatever you do, keep it as a part of your daily routine.  Make it apart of your children's routine.  Lend a helping hand every day.  It just feels right!

 

Changing Up the Routine As An Empty Nest Parent

It's been three years, one month, four days, three hours and  forty-seven minutes since my youngest child left the house, but who's counting? I hardly even noticed that all three children have left the nest with apartments of their own...they now call 'home'................................

Some things may have altered just a tiny bit, though.  I cannot remember the last time I bought the industrial-sized Bagel Bites that required pinching the corners to be able to fit into my freezer or the milk carton container of goldfish snacks.  I no longer think I should own stock in the Gatorade company.  I do all my laundry on off-peak hours now; there are no more emergency laundry requests.  Curfews have no place in our house anymore.  We go back to bed at 9 pm and sleep as long as our bodies allow us to.

If I was totally honest with you (and why would I be any other way?!), I would tell you the house has a morgue-like atmosphere most of the time.  Music isn't blaring and there is no yelling anymore except on the occasions when Wrigley is whining and disturbing the deafening silent of the household! No giggles or out right laughter is heard like when my boys would be quizzing their sister and finding her answers to be hysterical.  I have finally heard a whole song been played on the car radio before someone has switched the channel. 

I don't ever push or shove my husband around like my sons would do to settle an argument.  No, the only sounds that resonant through the house are the occasional UTube video being shared on the computer or the constant drone of the television reporters reporting about one chaos after another in the world.



Life hasn't stopped since the kids up and left their nurturing nest.  In fact, we have never been busier, at least in our work situations.  It's just very different.  And sometimes I enjoy the changes and sometimes I hate the changes. 

My advise to new parents experiencing the empty nest arrangement is to every once and awhile, try to recreate the atmosphere you had with the children, at least the good parts.  Put some goldfish in a big bowl on the coffee table and turn on the stereo full blast instead of falling into the evening's "regular routine".  Be playful with your partner. Call the kids and talk over the loud music.  Tell them that you are thinking of them and that you love them.  

Sex in a Blog Post

Day 3

Ask the question, "should you write about sex on a 'PG-rated' personal blog?" and you will get as many answers as there are sexual positions (4.....right?!).  I, personally have been asked this question many times at seminars and network events and for me the answer really, "it depends"................

Let's first start with some deep, philosophical questions:

Why do you have a personal blog in the first place? 

          Are you story telling or are you writing your life's journal and do you care that the journal is truthful?  If you have taken the diary approach, have you established the subjects and limits you plan to share with the rest of the world? Once I determined what was "off-limits" (yes, believe it or not, I have at least 3 things in my life that I will never write about on my blog!), I found it liberating to write about all the other subjects.  I tend to take the honest approach and really tell-it-like-it-is because it just doesn't feel right otherwise. I do not want to be deceptive....to myself or to my readers.

Does sex play an important role in your real life or do prefer to place everything about sex on the back shelf of your kitchen pantry..........where you might not see or taste it for years to come?

          If sex is an important part of how you define yourself, then it probably has a place in your writing topics.  My only advice is to remember that ANYONE can read your blog, including your children, your boss, your Mother-in-Law and that creepy neighbor down the street!  Be prepared to possibly have an embarrassing moment or two.

         If sex is hidden in the pantry, I would suggest leaving it there until you are ready to come out of the pantry, so to speak!  It could be a liberating or a debilitating experience; I don't want to take any responsibility for the direction you may choose to take. 

Is the subject of sex an appropriate topic for your blog niche?  Will it increase or decrease your following?

           I once told a story about my volunteer days as a candy stripper back in my high school days.  I joked about the uncomfortable uniform and showed examples of how they have changed for the better.  Well, my readership for that particular day spiked tenfold.  At first I was quite excited but really, the readers who probably Googled 'High School Candy Stripers' and landed on my site, were probably there for a total of 6 seconds once they realized my blog was not one of "those kinds of sites"! I am pretty sure none of them came back the next day, either!  (Too bad....they could have learned all about insomnia!)

          There could easily be an argument that almost every blog niche could use a little sex topic now and then.  The important thing to remember is to write about sex as it relates to your niche.  As an empty nest parent, the sex topic is usually a humorous one.  At this age, we have learned to poke fun at a lot of once-taboo topics!  

So there, as promised.....a sexy little post about SEX.  See you tomorrow!

         

Riding the Waves of the Empty Nest Syndrome

I have just returned from my summer trip back East and several "friends" (and by friends, I mean people who I only know because they read my blog posts) have emailed me and said, "Are you still feeling effects from being an empty nester, even though its been 3 years since your youngest flew the coop?"  They also said that they noticed I haven't written as much lately, so maybe I am "cured" or something.  But, this summer has been the most difficult time frame of all for me and here's why...................

Three years ago, in the middle of August, my youngest child started her first year of college and this blog was created to document the emotions, the thoughts and the activities of being an empty nest Mom.  I wrote sad posts while sobbing, I wrote posts telling of funny stories about getting older and forgetting things, I wrote about treating my golden retriever as if he was a child and many posts about dieting and generally living out my wonderful life!  It's been very therapeutic and I would recommend to all empty nest parents, to at least write a journal about this time in your life.

Just when I thought I have conquered this phase, I became jolted by another even more powerful wave of empty nest issues!  Blindsided, actually.  In hindsight, I should have been ready and prepared for the emotional roller coaster that occurred in July.

My oldest son had attended college at ASU, just 25 minutes down the road.  I got to see him regularly for Sunday dinners, tailgate parties and the like.  After college, he took a position with a large firm, in downtown Phoenix.  Again, I got to see him when I missed the kids.  He and his girlfriend (now wife) were always very accommodating to my need for temporary filling up the empty nest.  But Andy was now packing and leaving to attend Columbia Graduate School, for his MBA.......and for the first time, I was really going to be an empty nester!  Mother Bird kicked into serious crazy mode and stayed with them for about 5 solid days, helping them pack, and handling the details of a cross-country move.  I can tell you now, songs on the radio were my enemy!  I could not control the tears and if I heard Alisha Keyes and Jay-Z sing that beautiful song about NEW YORK one more time, I was going to explode!

So, I think the best answer I can give my reader friends is that I believe that from now on, we will experience "waves" of that ole empty nest feeling.  Some waves will be gentle and others, like this summer for me, will have hurricane force winds behind those waves.  And, I would tell them not to worry, because we Mother Birds are very resilient and strong.  And we will control the situation as best as we can to help alleviate the pain and loss that we are experiencing.

For me, maybe the nest moves...................maybe my wings will grow....................maybe all of the above.  That's the beauty of life.......and we should relax and try to enjoy the moments as they occur.

Empty Nest Spouse Work 101

Husband talk has always been one of those tricky topics for me on this blog.  The topic is not completely left untouched........how can such an important part of my life be left out?  But, let's just say, it's one area that I try to tread lightly.  Except for maybe here and here and oops, here.....I've been a good little blogging wife!  Still, the spouse topic is one of the most important areas for the empty nest parent.  So, I pull out the carton of eggs and tiptoe through this delicate topic.....for my readers, of course.

I can safely say that 100% of my friends and acquaintances who are in the empty nest phase of their life, would say that life with the spouse has changed; 85% would say that these changes are dramatic. The types of changes range from reigniting the most passionate feelings for one another to convictions of murder and all places in between.  And, there doesn't seem to be any rhyme or reason why some couples change one way or another! It is safe to say that most of us did not read up "how to best cope with the changes that WILL occur once the children leave the nest".  I know I was too busy being Mom and coping with the feelings of loss and excitement as my babies started flying the coop. The husband would have to wait....

  Which brings me to a thought and a story set back in 1990.  I was married to my first husband (a topic I rarely touch on this blog!) and had just had my 3rd and final child.  I was in the throws of breastfeeding, potty-training and the first year of t-ball with the kids.  I was doing the best I could.....I think you could call it 'managing' the chaos!  It was wonderful and awful at the same time.  If you had interviewed me at the time, I would have said I was happy.  The days and many of the nights were filled with activity, only the activity with my husband was limited.  Looking back, I now know that my old stand of "the husband would have to wait" was detrimental to our relationship.  Who knows if devoting quality time for the spouse would have kept us as a married unit, but let's just say for the fun of it....it wouldn't have hurt the relationship!  All parties in the family should be given equal attention and love.  Easier said than done, though, at least for me it WAS and IS..........

So, why is it that history keeps repeating itself and we humans have a difficult learning from our past mistakes?  Do we really have to keep trying out Keynesian economic practices before we understand they rarely work?!!  I digress..... Okay, so I know that not placing the significant amount of time and effort towards my spousal relationship during the empty nest years could result in negative changes in my relationship, which may or not be a good thing in the end.  That's step one....learning from history....my history.  I acknowledge this to be true but DOING the right thing here, isn't coming naturally.  Why?

• The parent-child pull is stronger than the spousal pull.  I believe this to be true.  Responsibility is partly to blame, but also the nature of the relationship is different.

• One relationship is voluntary, one is not.  

• One is conditional love and one is unconditional love.  There, I said it. What do you expect from a divorced person?  Marriages are so 'easy-come-easy-go' these days.  I know many of you want us to believe that marriage is a sacred relationship.....the sanctity of marriage and all....but when one day you arrive home from a vacation with your children and are told, I don't think I love you anymore, so I am leaving......it doesn't feel that way!  Perhaps if we would all except the fact that marriage has conditions that must be met (and then maybe even state them in writing) maybe there would be less than 50% divorces in this country.  Children on the other hand will always be your children.  Only in a few way-out-there cases do children and their parents 'divorce' each other. Our children will always be our children and we can strengthen or weaken this bond through our actions towards one another. But the love is unconditional.       

Step Two: Take Actions Necessary to Avoid the Same Lifetime Mistakes:

1. Balance: It's really all about balance for me.  Sometimes, my husband and his priorities need to come ahead of my children';s priorities. (Why are so many situations an 'either or' scenario?)  My relationship with my husband is worth trying to create this very delicate balance.   
2. Communication: Ughhhhh! This will be my husband's thoughts on #2!  Talking about the subject will help me, even if he dreads it terribly.  We have two very distinct and difference personalities, so without talking through topics, I have no idea where he's coming from....and he has no ideas where I am coming from! 
3. Practice: Because none of this program happens naturally, I believe you must make considerable effort to try to practice # 1 and # 2 if you really want to be successful. Think of it like you are just an okay person on the soccer field and soccer moves don't come second nature to you.  Practicing a maneuver over and over will help you improve your skills and you might even master them one day. 

There is the other side of the coin.....what if drastic changes with your partner during this empty nest period result in an even better quality of life (maybe even for both of you)?  Well, that topic deserves a whole post to itself!  For now,  I am sticking with improving on my life as it stands.  Good luck to all of you in the same boat! 

Mindless Chores for the Empty Nester

The cycle of life just keeps rolling along................yes, once again, our house is free empty of children.  Our youngest daughter returned for her spring semester of college and the empty nest part of our life starts up again.  It does seem to get a little better each time this cycle occurs, mainly because I have established a routine and stick with it. 

After the children are gone, I set about doing some awful, tedious chore around the house.  It should be a chore that is someone mindless so that as I am going about the work, I am quietly thinking about the time spent with my family.  I find that without this chore, I do not allow myself to just think about the Holiday break and all the activities and time I enjoyed (or not) with the kids.  Today, I cleaned out my pantry.  Good, mindless work.  It's perfect now...every label facing out, all cracker boxes closed.  Did I mention that I get a little crazy right after the kids leave?

Of course, now I am tired of dirty work and just want to veg out in front of the television.  Life usually slows down once the kids leave and I am beginning to like this aspect more each year.  It's not all a sad thing now when the kids leave.  So, enjoy doing that chore you have been putting off.  Next week, we will start thinking about improving our life with our significant others.  Yes, it's a regular part of the empty nester cycle!   

Did You Have The "Fight Goodbye"?

Depending on the school your child is attending, they have either returned in the past week or two or are leaving this week.  For the empty nest family, this transition is always a little traumatic in one fashion or another.  For me, I am always sad and a bit weepy.  I become a little lethargic and get very little done around the house.  I want time to slow down so that I can cherish each lasting moment with my daughter.  But, then again, I am so excited for her to return to school and continue her education and all the fun that is also associated with the collegiate years.  We try to do small things together: have lunch at a new place in town, shop at Target for necessity items, get our hair and nails done....that sort of thing. 

But for many families, this is a tumultuous period in the household.  Most kids are more than ready to get back to their lifestyle and friends at school.  The rules at home seem foreign to them and having to answer to Mommy and Daddy is less than appealing.  And, they are tired and cranky.  So, often times right before returning to school, the child and the parents are at odds.  Words spurt out that are often hurtful, making this transition all the more difficult.  I remember this occurring more with my sons than with my daughter.  Secretly, I would wish for the moment they left the house and headed back to school.  Our arguments and fights were silly in nature, but neither side knew how to make them stop. 

I have read some articles on why this occurs and basically, the child sometimes needs to act in this manner to break the strong parental bond and become an adult himself.  And, most stated that the stronger the bond, the harder the transitions could be.  Well, that tidbit of information does not make it any easier to handle, does it now?!  But perhaps knowing that all over the world, kids are leaving and the homes are filled with anxious kids and anxious parents might be consoling to you....

Personally, I suggest trying to keep the drama as low-key as possible.  I believe your children will grow up to be responsible and happy people no matter what the transitions were like in your home.  But, you will be minus the painful memories.......and you'll be glad that you elected not to tell them they are lazy, messy people. 

Kiss them goodbye and hug them as hard as you want.  Don't forget to tell them that you love them even if their room has been left a shambles.  Tell them you are proud of the work they are doing at school, even if for the last 3 weeks they haven't left the couch and watching television 24/7 while you have been their cook, maid and personal ATM machine.  Show them what being an adult is all about.  It cannot hurt........................

The End of Break is Near

The holidays are over and you have finally put away all the decorations and eaten the last remaining holiday cookies in the house.  The kids have used up their gift cards and are already thinking about returning to college.  Do you feel that empty nest loneliness coming on?  If so, you're not alone!  Well, I am hear to tell you that now is not the time to pout about the upcoming transition.  This is not something you can control.  What you can do is make a plan and try to stick to it. 

Your plan should include at least three out of five ideas listed below:

• Pick a time to give your son and daughter some of that parental wisdom of yours.  

          They have been home for a few weeks and you have probably noticed some bad habits, like not flossing everyday or washing their dark and white clothing items together in hot water, and you want to help them with some worthy advise.  Just be careful not to sound too "preachy" or go on too long. I like to start off the conversation with "remember to..." as if they really knew not to throw their cashmere sweater on the floor and just had a lapse in judgment.  Instead of saying, you need to get those thank you notes out......try saying, "Your Grandmother gets such a big kick out of your notes to her, let's get them done today, OK?"  No ones likes to be lectured to, but we all can use gentle reminders of how to be nice and considerate of others.

          In years past, I did not take the time to point out certain topics with my children before they left for school and I felt bad....like I hadn't given them all I should have.  And it's hard to give parental suggestions in a text message!

• Pick another time to tell them how enjoyable it's been to see them.  Of course, in between the laptop, their cell phones, their friends, their jobs and their sleeping habits, the exact amount of time you actually SAW them might have been minimal, but admit it.....you enjoyed having them around the house.  Telling them makes everyone feel good.  

• Plan when you will see each other next.

          For some families, this is the next break...in this case, spring break.  In our household, every time is different.  Maybe you are thinking that they will be home for spring break, when in reality, they have plans to go to Mexico or Florida with their friends.  Knowing ahead of time will cause less stress and emotional upheaval for you in the future.

• Make an Appointment to Review Finances with your Children.

          No matter what kind of arrangement you have with expenses and money set-up, it is always good to offer guidance in this area.  Be sure to set aside individual time with each child, because they all are different in their approach to money.  One of your kids will have blown all the money he has received from generous family members this past Christmas, while the other still has his unused gift cards from last Christmas!  I find it best to sit in front of the computer and use tools such as Microsoft Money and homemade Excel spreadsheets while talking.  The evidence is on the screen!  Let's face it, most adults in this country could use this simple advise.  Our nation maybe wouldn't be in such trouble if we all did a monthly sit down to discuss our financial situations!  

• Finally, ask how you can help them or be of any assistance.

          I have always been surprised when I ask them this question.  Once, one of my kids said they wanted to know how to shine their shoes.  One wanted to know how I make "those omelets" .  This year, one has asked me to help her find an inexpensive place for her to visit for spring break.  You will have completely different questions from your children, so try not to anticipate what they will ask.  Just enjoy knowing that you have had effect on your kids in surprising ways.

Before you know it, they will be hugging you good-bye and saying, "see you soon".  This year, you will feel better knowing that you have prepared them adequately for what lies ahead.  And you can sleep easier in your empty nest home, knowing that you stuck to the plan!