The Joys of Working Full-Time Again

The funny thing about returning to a full-time position is that your whole life gets engrossed with whatever you are working on. For me, that's putting on a Twilight Farmers Market for a beautiful shopping center in Glendale, Arizona.

It's a really unique market, with the best local farmers bringing their produce, the local artisan bakers bringing their goodies, kids cooking classes, musical and dancing performances each week, a celebrity or interesting local person rings the market bell to open the market and cool tenant give-aways, too. I could on, but the list is too long.

Having an event every week is very exhausting. Your adrenaline shoots up the day before, the day of and all during the event. The following day you're wiped out and then you recover. I am just now getting used to this routine. But I have to say that I love it. For now.

My family sort of has to get involved to. Otherwise, we are not doing as much together. Time will fly by and all of a sudden, Laura is back to Dickinson for her sophomore year! I want some quality time with my baby girl. I still feel like I haven't given her all the knowledge a Mom should give to her children. (And maybe you never feel like you've given enough).

This morning, I woke up at 5 am worrying about which umbrellas and stands we should purchase for the market. I found some that might be perfect. But one shouldn't ever worry about umbrellas nor wake up so early thinking about a work issue. You should be sleeping soundly next to your partner. Someone should tell my system that!

I also need to learn how to turn on the on and off button. Work sometimes, play sometimes. It is all this empty nest Mom can handle, that's for sure.

Back From the Empty Nest Depression

Hello out there. It's true, I am not dead. But it has been over a month or so since I've written on my site.

I started this blog the day my youngest daughter left for college, hence a diary of what it would be like to be an empty-nester, or Emtnester since the EmptyNester domain name was already taken. There were days that were hard and there were days that were wonderful in this new status for me and Bill. But life moved on. I got some writing paid jobs. Then I was asked to handle the marketing for a beautiful mixed-use center with a public relations friend of mine. My sister started selling Worth clothing and she asked to help her, too. So, I got busy. (I had to be dressed before 6 pm when Bill usually comes home). But none of this affected me quite like my middle son's graduation......

Jonathan attended Miami University in Ohio. The exact same day I stopped writing was the weekend of the graduation ceremonies. We all went up to Oxford and had a ball with the families that he shared a house with. The weather was perfect: not too hot, not too cold. My Mom and Ed even came up for the occasion, so it was really special. But Sunday arrived quickly and everyone was leaving. We were the last of the Stone-Southworth clan to leave , around 5 pm. I had attempted to start packing for JB since he had to be out of the house on Monday at noon. I managed to lose his card and check from my Mom while packing, so I was really a big help!

Well, it was 5 pm and we needed to go back to our busy little lives in Arizona. And my little boy was off to Columbus, Ohio to find an apartment and start his first job all by himself, with no help from anyone in his family. Why didn't I plan this better? Am I so busy or broke to go help him start his new life? What about his Dad or his brother? We said our teary goodbyes and drove off while he was sitting on the ledge of his front porch, dangling his feet just like a little boy would do on a beautiful spring day.

I don't remember the ride to the airport, checking in or going through security. I only remember the phone call from Jonathan asking where did I put the check from Gran. And why did I have to start packing; he had everything in control and now we will have to probably stop payment on the check and Gran won't like doing that, on and on. I was devastated. Of course, I know we were all very tired as you keep late hours on college campuses these days. But I felt miserable. And fell right into a month long depression of sorts.

I did not want to share all the great pictures of the weekend. I waited to hear how JB found a great, inexpensive apartment in a week. I waited to hear about his week of training at his new job. I waited to hear about how he and (his friend that's a girl) found a brown couch at a killer price to fill his new place. And I feel Columbus is as far as Sweden.

This is the empty-nester experience that I had so often read about. The queer sadness mixed with joy all rolled up with the overwhelming loneliness and loss of the company of your children. And I just could not think of a single word to write until 4 am this morning. Digging myself out of this dark hole I have been secretly living in all the while working and keeping busy to the outside world.

It's good to see you, too!

Life Moves Past You

I leave tomorrow for my middle son's college graduation and I can't seem to pack. I cannot decide what to wear. I can't seem to be prepared for this momentous occasion. It's as if I am saying that if I am not ready then it won't happen. Which is crazy talk even for an empty nest Mom.

And why don't I want it to happen? I am thrilled he is graduating, so it's not that. I think that life keeps moving by me (past me?) and I feel I have no control over anything anymore. He's moving on to his first job in Columbus, Ohio. I get to see him for three days and then who knows when I'll see him next. I really enjoy being around him as he makes me feel good. He makes me laugh. He reminds that I am a good Mom and that is something I need right now. Validation.

Really, all three of my children validate my existence very well. Of course, I have my own life: working, being Bill's wife, sister to my sister, daughter to my Mom, slave to my dog (just kidding). But I think the Mom part has been perhaps the largest and most important part for many years. This is one of those big transitions and I am off-the-chart emotional right now.

I wish I had the kind of relationship with my husband where he "fills the void", but that's just not how we work together. If I told him that I was having trouble packing...etc...he would look at me cross-eyed and not have a clue that a big hug would be in order. Or say, "why don't we grab a beer and pack together tonight!".

So, the pictures from graduation will show me in unmatched outfits, the wrong jewelry and inappropriate shoes and there's nothing I can about it. Maybe someday I will sit back, look at these pictures and laugh hysterically.

Here goes nothing...

Flying High and Being Forgetful

Today, I was blissfully going about my busy day when I answered the daily phone call from my sister. I told her I was loving my new marketing assignment and that everything was going smoothly, just like in the video:







She said, "Great. By the way, who's watching Wrigley while you are up at Jonathan's graduation?" Oops! All of a sudden, I come crashing down to Earth and start a mini-panic. What if I can't find someone to watch him? What would have happened if I had forgotten completely? Luckily, I was able to secure a great dog sitter right away. But all these random thoughts in my head might one day get me into some serious trouble! Go over to Keely's place to read all about random thoughts in the blogworld. We do it every Tuesday and you should, too.

JB Graduates: Mom is Emotional

One week from today, I head up to Oxford, Ohio to watch my middle son graduate from college (Miami of Ohio University). This is a picture of JB with his friend.................... who happens to be a girl....................... They are not serious.............................. except for the fact that he has accepted a job in Columbus, Ohio, where Sarah will be attending law school next year...............................HMMMM.



This is one of those special Empty Nest Mom moments. So proud, so happy, so sad, so lonely, so energetic and yet, so lethargic. I cannot even look at the picture above without tearing up!



Perfect for my Wordless Wednesday picture entry. Join in on the fun each week...................

Random Teeth Thoughts

Joining Keely (The UnMom) and 'krew' with some Random Tuesday Thoughts:

I think someone "upstairs" got a little lazy when he/she was designing the teeth of a human. Maybe all creatures' teeth, I don't know; I can only speak for the humans.

There is never a good time in one's life when it comes to their teeth:

When you are a baby and teething, it's painful and you are constantly drooling until your first set has broken skin.

Next, the teeth grow in all crazy-like. They often are crooked and there are big gaps right in the front area. Grown-ups tell you not to worry because you lose this set and grow new ones. So, for about 5 years or so you look ridiculous in every school picture and Holiday photos, too.

Sometimes your teeth grow in so bad that you must get some pulled. Or you get the awesome experience of having braces put on your teeth. I think the person "upstairs" also created braces because they couldn't be worse looking if you tried. Plus they are painful.

Throughout your younger years you get to visit sado-masochists, often referred to as dentists. Here you get to fill the holes in your teeth due to poor teeth-designing from "above" and root canals.

But don't worry, once this time frame is over, its on to implants, bridges, and my favorite....the sawing down of your pitiful teeth only to put fake covers called veneers on them. Now your teeth look great, but you're broke!

You end up back in the baby stage, with all your teeth removed and a full set of dentures sitting and soaking on your bedside table.

Frankly, I am rather disappointed in the engineering and design of our teeth. I give "the big guy" an 'F' in this category.