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Tuesday, April 7, 2009

The Mother and Daughter Bond

(Photo borrowed from Rick Mueller Studio)

Don't worry, I'm alive and kicking. My plate has just gotten fuller and I'm not talking about my dinner plate. There is a certain amount of excitement surrounding these new assignments. So much so, that I decided I just had to wake up at 1:00 am to think about ideas and strategies and yogurt. In that order.

So, my daughter calls me in the middle of the day and says, "Mom, a friend has asked me to his fraternity formal in California in a couple of weeks and he has a free ticket to get me out there. Can I go?" Keep in mind, she's in college in Pennsylvania. I think to myself:

1) I cannot believe she's asking me, but it's kind of sweet;

2) What if I said in some austere voice, "No, I forbid it". Would she tell him she cannot come? Or would she be angry with me or go behind my back?

I probably wouldn't have asked permission or maybe not even tell my family until I got back. It's not like I didn't care for my family, they were always great to me. It's just Laura and I have kind of bonded in a real special way this year. It's one of life's special empty nest surprises.

So, to Laura I say, "If you can go without affecting your grades and work schedule and it really is "free", then go and enjoy. But be careful".

How deep a conversation should a Mom and a freshman year daughter have? Is it right for the daughter to tell you she's not going to date so-and-so because all he really wants is a friend with benefits?! The line is blurry and undefined for the two of us. But we are happy and very supportive of each other this year. We seem to both want a connection even though we are physically thousands of miles apart.

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Blogger steenky bee said...

Um, I can't tell which one is the mother and which one is the daughter. Do all the boys at her college just drool over you when you go to visit. I bet they do!!!

April 7, 2009 at 9:09 PM  
Blogger Casey said...

I'm with Steenky, you're beautiful! Tell me again why you think you need to be in HASAY?

April 7, 2009 at 10:29 PM  
Blogger beth said...

To Jen and Casey:
Please move to Phoenix! You both make me feel better, even though I cannot fit ino 75% of my clothes in the closet!

April 7, 2009 at 11:43 PM  
Anonymous Angella said...

You did the right thing- Your daughter will trust you to ask and tell you more and more. Sounds like you have a wonderful relationship to be cherished! The fast must have went well- you look great!

April 8, 2009 at 12:49 AM  
Blogger Christine said...

I can so relate to that mother-daughter bond, and the thousands of miles degree of seperation!

April 8, 2009 at 1:40 PM  
Anonymous Nicole "The Card Eagle" Bandes said...

I'm just thrilled that my 13 y/o son is willing to share with me his favorite photos in the (very conservative, no articles or sex) Playboy magazine we bought him so that he doesn't surf the net and find lots of really obnoxious stuff. Can Horton find just a Hooter? I think it is awesome that kids can have that kind of open conversation with their parents. I'm a strong believer that it will keep them as kids rather than kids with kids.

April 8, 2009 at 5:47 PM  
Blogger The Stiletto Mom said...

No wonder your daughter is so gorgeous, look at how pretty you are! You guys look alike and I just love how close you two are.

April 11, 2009 at 10:37 AM  

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