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Saturday, October 29, 2011

Take Someone Else's Advice on Dating

Day 29 of the Ultimate Blog Challenge asks us to find an article and post it on our site....with a note from us on the bottom:

Tips for Finding Love in Your Middle Ages
By []Lori Abela

Whether you are single after 40 or dating in your middle ages, most of us at this stage of our lives think that finding a soulmate is the most essential thing. You begin to ask questions like how can I find love? Or how do I find love? And sometimes you even doubt that you will ever find love again. Here are some useful tips for finding love in your middle ages:

Look for someone you can understand. If you want someone who is older than you or about the same age as you, they would most likely be someone who has never been married or who has been previously married. In the process of finding a soulmate, you should be able to accept that this person is already set in their ways. The soulmate secret is in learning how to understand your partner. You have to be able to understand that each of you have different traits that need to complement each other rather than go against each other.

Know what you want. There are many people in this age category who go from one relationship to another not knowing what it is they want and what it is they are willing to be part of. If the person you are dating has been married and have children, you need to figure out if you are willing to be a parent. You also need to understand that his or her ex will always be present as long as the kids are being raised. Finding a soulmate when you are single after 40 or dating in your middle ages means having to accept that sometimes the one you love comes with a package deal. Are you willing to entertain someone with children if you your self have children? Know that it's another different story when families are merged.

On the other hand, if both of you have no children and are at this age, you have to find out where each of you stand on whether to have kids or not. If you do, would it be through surrogacy, artificial insemination, or adoption? Even though this might be too early in the relationship, you have to at least be mentally prepared to answer such questions. Both of you are not getting any younger and shouldn't waste much time dwelling on petty stuff. This is the reality of middle age dating and the soulmate secret is knowing what you want so that things are clearer and out in the open.

Be open and comfortable with the criticism of others. When you've reached this age and you are asking yourself the questions how can I find love? Or how do I find love? The last thing you should worry about is the criticism of others. So what if you are dating someone younger or older? As long as you think that this person is your one true love and he or she keeps you happy, criticisms should just go in and out of your head. Before getting on with someone who is younger or older, ask yourself if you are ready for some criticism because definitely, there will be one or two who will not be happy to see this union.

Dating in your middle ages can also be quite tough and different since the dating practices and trends have already developed through the years. What you know about finding a soulmate then might not be of use today. You know that bars won't be a good place to start with in terms of looking for real love so you have to be open to whatever opportunities that may come your way. At times you may even need to adapt to current trends such as online dating.

Be prepared. When you are dating in your middle ages and you have custody of your children, you need to have a reliable babysitter or family member to take care of your kid(s) whenever you are on a date. Once you find your match, figure out when you would be able to introduce him or her to your children. Set proper and realistic expectations with the children since they might expect you to get back together with your ex. Remember to choose your timing wisely and choose the right person before doing this exercise. You are now on the lookout for someone who would also be capable of being a parent to your children. Dating in your middle ages and finding a soulmate entails that you look out not just for yourself but also for your kids as well.

Dating in your middle ages can be quite daunting and scary for some but this stage can also bring much excitement to your life. By this time, you would have mustered enough confidence in attracting the love of others. Stop asking yourself questions like how can I find love? Or how do I find love? And start believing that finding a soulmate can be as adventurous as it was when you were twenty years younger.

Try these dating tips for finding love in your middle ages. You can get more information on finding a soulmate by visiting [] Be sure to take advantage of the 6 Day Free E-mail Mini-Course and submit your name to be advised of the release of the mini e-book "Help! How Can I Find True Love?"

Lori Abela is an expert on finding true love for expats. She has finally found the love of her life in her 40s. She shares her secrets to finding true love with the readers of Lori is available for coaching, speaking engagements and consultancy.

Article Source: [] Tips for Finding Love in Your Middle Ages

NOTE TO MY READERS: Or rather, a warning to my readers: I am not nor have never been an
"expert on finding true love".  Never take my advise on love or dating issues.  But, I would have a ball writing a post about dating.  And I just might.  But I am fearful some lonely person might actually try and USE my advice and then be sorely disappointed in the results. I do have some scruples. 

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November 16, 2011 at 6:54 AM  

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