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Monday, March 14, 2011

An Engineer's Faulty Design or It's the Miu Miu's Fault

I am not one to complain or file lawsuits or blame others when I have done something wrong myself.  Normally.  But today, I feel compelled to blame just about everything within a 5-mile radius about my little car incident this past week. For, I am not a 'woman-driver'.  Yes, I am a woman (just checked) and I do drive my car (but only when I have to).  I used to be proud of my no ticket, no accident record (at least where I am the one being hit) and that I could drive a stick-shift as good as any good old boy out there.  But my pride is having to take the back seat lately. I have started to do dumb things in my car like backing out of a parking space, only to see a car driving past me, so I put the car into forward and skip over a curb..............(not a hypothetical scenario).,

Seriously, if I was standing around watching me, I would have laughed my ass off.  Especially when I then proceeded to put the car back into reverse and try to muscle the car off the very odd shaped curb (more on this later).  Or when I stepped out of the car to access the damage of the front bumper and proceeded to fall over the curb myself and down the dirt hill in my cute little Miu Miu shoes.  Did I mention they have a 4" heel?

I know what you're thinking but NO, it was not a 'drinking lunch'!

So, I called my husband to come save the day, just like every woman driver who skips curbs would naturally do and he came and he got my car over the curb safely and then flew back to work with his cape flying in the wind.  Now, don't get me wrong, I was very thankful.  It's just a few years ago, I would have figured it out myself...and in my 4"heels to boot.

Now about this crazy curb.....who designs a curb that is actually a retaining wall to hold up the dirt hill with a 90 degree angle and is 6" high?  And there was no concrete bumper to stop crazy loons like me from driving straight into and over the curb! I'd like to give partial blame to the curb.

Finally, why I wear these silly shoes is a mystery.  They have heels made of hard wood and could come in handy if I am ever caught in a gang fight and need to protect myself.  Perhaps I enjoy looking taller.  I feel thinner when I wear high heels, too.  But, I am pretty sure that the foot pressing down on the pedal with these babies, is partially to blame for my curb hopping.

All I can say, is that I hope this is just one lousy phase in my life.  Am I destined for a life of cushy, comfy, automatic cars?  Must I only buy and wear ballet slippers on my feet from now on?  Perhaps, I should just walk to my lunches out.  I hope not.....................

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