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Tuesday, March 1, 2011

MOTG Diet Starts Today..Feel Free to Join in the Fun

It's the first of March and hope you remembered to say "rabbit, rabbit, rabbit" when you woke up....'cause this is going to be one hectic month and we are all going to need all the LUCK we can get!  Right?!

I have officially started the MOTG wedding diet......alert the media!  It's been almost a year ago when I ended my HCG diet and reported the exciting measurements from the beginning to the end.  This time around, I am taking a more spiritual approach (thanks, Gabriella for the book).  That's BS, you say?  Well, let's find out. 

I have motivation to lose, and I have a short little lady working in the woman's department at Saks Fifth Avenue to thank.  You see, I went to try on a few dresses, take my picture and then show them to my sister to decide which one I should buy for the wedding in May.  I asked her if she minded taking the pictures for me....her mouth said yes, but her eyes and body said, no F----G way!  Seeing as there was no one else around I begged her and she dragged that lumpy little body back to the dressing room with me.

I will be the first to admit that it's no real treat attending me in the smallish dressing room, unless you like seeing naked strangers in odd lighting and gigantic 3-way mirrors!  I tried on the greenish one first and it kind of reminded me of Elizabeth her latest years!  I was pouring out in every direction.  And it kind of reminded me of a sleeping gown you might have worn on your honeymoon night...back in the '50's!  She took 3 pictures and said she needed to gag or something like that....and left the room for a few minutes.

Next, I put on the beautiful coral dress.  It has rouching all around which I thought could hide many areas of trouble.  Turns out 'rouching' actually means "placing dramatic emphasis on a woman's most vulnerable areas".....I think! The color was nice (Mom was right) and maybe I could get it for my next Halloween costume as all I saw in the mirror was a 'HUGE, round and rouching PUMPKIN'! 

My friendly sales person came in and giggled or was that her throwing up in her mouth?  It was kind of hard to tell; she looked pained.  Again, she took a front, side and back side picture, handed me the camera and ran out the door to find a paying customer.  "Thanks", I said.......For making this middle-aged, empty nest Mom feel just fabulous while trying to find the perfect dress for her oldest child's wedding! 

The next day, I flew to my sister's house for our WORTH Collection trunk show.  I hadn't taken the time to see the shots.  And here is number #4-Million why I love my sister more than life........

We pulled up the shots on her computer and she said, "Pretty colors for spring.  You are going to look great at the wedding.  You can find better dresses, though....that material will be too hot for late May, in Arizona!"  And that was that.  No, ha ha...look at those fat arms.  Or, are you pregnant?  Thanks, Sis!

I do want to look great for my son's wedding; doesn't every Mom want that?  At least, look the best I can.  So, I am focused on eating right, sleeping well and exercising.  A lot!  ( the exercising part, not the eating part!) When it's time, I am going to search out that one woman and make her help me again, for the fun of it.  Looking back, I think she's probably a kick...just stuck in a job that's less than fun sometimes.
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Blogger EmptyNester said...

Love your sense of humor! My mother made my MOTB dress- but, as she always did when I was little-used fabric I didn't want in a color I didn't want and UGH! But, then again, it's not easy to dress a person the size of an elephant. I lost 83 pounds...but not until AFTER the wedding. Good grief.

March 1, 2011 at 8:51 PM  

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