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Monday, March 7, 2011

Hot Buttered Toast, Anyone?

Reading the Wall Street Journal after my morning walk with Wrigley, is apart of my everyday routine.  I get a little politics, a little economics and sometimes, like last week, I get a rip-roaring belly laugh from their articles.  And apparently, most of the nation was "stirred" by the story about the Northwestern University professor and his after class curriculum.  Everyone had to weigh in on J. Michael Bailey's decision to host a live after class demonstration and whether he should be fired or stay on and now it's my turn..........................  

So, sipping my coffee, I read that a professor teaching a psychology class in human sexuality at Northwestern University, decides that one afternoon after class a couple will perform a sex act with an "electrical devise".  Perhaps because of the time of day, I immediately visualize a couple standing up in the kitchen having sex over a toaster......

But in my day dream, it's not just any toaster!  It's a and sexy-styled toaster..........

I picture the couple getting all hot and bothered as they wait for the toast to pop up....sort of 1970's 'Anticipation' like.  They build up to the dramatic finish as their classmates watch and learn from this important aspect of their college education.

Wait...wait.....wait for it................

"Yes, yes baby.  Yummy toast for breakfast".  But just then, I imagine the guy urging the girl participant to go one step further................"hey baby, how about we add a little butter to this tasty treat?" 

Well, a toaster IS an electrical devise!

There were, of course, multiple levels of hilarity in this story.  For one, I see a picture of the couple who "volunteered" for this assignment......her name is Faith (!) and has a smirk-like, come-hither look on her face.  He looks like the kind of guy older, empty nest Moms like me are afraid of but the younger women think is cute.  He is wearing a bandanna on his head with an anchor print on it.  I am LOL at this point.  I am thinking who volunteers for this "work" and now I understand why the 'man upstairs' steered me away from the field of psychology  and into a safer political science/economic degree!

Next, I read that about 100 students out of about 500 choose to attend this after class live demonstration and I start laughing again.  Most college students know how a couple uses a sex toy and they figured they could just go off and have their own live demonstrations in their dorm rooms. (They probably would have more attendees if they used the toaster!).  Which brings me to my main beef with the whole event.....the fact that the teacher chose such a lame demonstration in the first place.

  • Wouldn't it have been more provocative if the female used the sex toy on the male?  That would at least be something new for the kiddies.  It's like the standard and very boring story lines of every XXX-rated movie.  I expect more from the college professors from such excellent schools like Northwestern!
  • Why not have two males and a sex toy....only half of the kiddies know about this procedure.
Well, I'll tell you why (not based on any real facts, of course): I think Mr. J. Michael Bailey is probably a very sad and lonely professor, living in college housing with only his tenure and defined benefit plan to keep him warm at night.  It's a Thursday afternoon and he has not a single plan for the weekend.................and he has forgotten to order his supply of adult films, so..............he conjures up this after class live demonstration.  Seriously?!

I have no beef with adding special events after class for any subject, including human sexuality.  But, I expect these events to be thought-provoking and stimulating at the same time.  The professor gets a "F" in my book for his lack of creativity. 

Hmmmmm, have to go.................... as I am suddenly hungry for some hot, buttered toast!

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Blogger EmptyNester said...

I have a degree in psychology and my thoughts when I saw the story was: We never had anything that exciting or stimulating or controversial at my college. Dang it. LOL

March 7, 2011 at 6:20 PM  
Blogger Captain Dumbass said...

I want that flamey toaster.

March 7, 2011 at 10:09 PM  

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