An Engineer's Faulty Design or It's the Miu Miu's Fault

I am not one to complain or file lawsuits or blame others when I have done something wrong myself.  Normally.  But today, I feel compelled to blame just about everything within a 5-mile radius about my little car incident this past week. For, I am not a 'woman-driver'.  Yes, I am a woman (just checked) and I do drive my car (but only when I have to).  I used to be proud of my no ticket, no accident record (at least where I am the one being hit) and that I could drive a stick-shift as good as any good old boy out there.  But my pride is having to take the back seat lately. I have started to do dumb things in my car like backing out of a parking space, only to see a car driving past me, so I put the car into forward and skip over a curb..............(not a hypothetical scenario).,

Seriously, if I was standing around watching me, I would have laughed my ass off.  Especially when I then proceeded to put the car back into reverse and try to muscle the car off the very odd shaped curb (more on this later).  Or when I stepped out of the car to access the damage of the front bumper and proceeded to fall over the curb myself and down the dirt hill in my cute little Miu Miu shoes.  Did I mention they have a 4" heel?

I know what you're thinking but NO, it was not a 'drinking lunch'!

So, I called my husband to come save the day, just like every woman driver who skips curbs would naturally do and he came and he got my car over the curb safely and then flew back to work with his cape flying in the wind.  Now, don't get me wrong, I was very thankful.  It's just a few years ago, I would have figured it out myself...and in my 4"heels to boot.

Now about this crazy curb.....who designs a curb that is actually a retaining wall to hold up the dirt hill with a 90 degree angle and is 6" high?  And there was no concrete bumper to stop crazy loons like me from driving straight into and over the curb! I'd like to give partial blame to the curb.

Finally, why I wear these silly shoes is a mystery.  They have heels made of hard wood and could come in handy if I am ever caught in a gang fight and need to protect myself.  Perhaps I enjoy looking taller.  I feel thinner when I wear high heels, too.  But, I am pretty sure that the foot pressing down on the pedal with these babies, is partially to blame for my curb hopping.

All I can say, is that I hope this is just one lousy phase in my life.  Am I destined for a life of cushy, comfy, automatic cars?  Must I only buy and wear ballet slippers on my feet from now on?  Perhaps, I should just walk to my lunches out.  I hope not.....................
 

The Best Side Effects of the UltraClear Plus Detox Program

It's the sixth day of my detox/cleanse and I must say, I am not feeling the euphoric feelings so many other people have described after a week. Maybe that happens today and tomorrow. I have enjoyed the bizarre nature and content of my dreams. I jump into bed at 9 pm and am upset when the alarm goes off at 6 am, as anything can and does happen in dreamland...........

Last night I was extremely intelligent and was solving serious technical problems for a "NASA-like" company in Prague. It was kinda cool, because all these 30-year old geeks with dark hair and dark clothes were hanging on my every word. They were amazed that I had picked up their language in just two weeks; yes, sometimes the dream was not in English, (which freaked the real me out, as I couldn't understand that part and there were no subtitles). We had dinner in a castle.......

(This is the real Prague Castle)

with tall candles lighting the room. It seemed like a company retreat as we were all staying there that evening. I sat next to a young couple, recently married, to my left and a man from Capulte, just outside of Prague on my right (I Googled it this morning and there is no such town near Prague).

(This is a real restaurant in Prague, called Bily Konicek)

We were apparently staying in the same suite together which didn't seem odd, except for when we were in bed and the girl became "Susan" from the Desperate Housewives show ("Susan": Teri Hatcher is in the middle)..........

and she was acting like a prude and didn't want to do a threesome or a foursome. I got miffed or embarrassed and said something intelligent and left the room. Then, the alarm went off and I was back in Scottsdale, AZ, USA, with just my above average level of intelligence.

I wonder will I'll be tonight?

Dr. Keith Smigiel had mentioned that several of his patients had experienced unusual dreams while detox/cleansing. Maybe your mind is free to dream better once the toxins are removed from you body. (Warning: This is the less intelligent Beth speaking now).

And maybe Keith did not tell me about how during the first part of the week you are not thinking about sex at all but the last few days, that's all you think about. Not eating or drinking alcohol is hard enough, he probably wants his patients to have a pleasant surprise at the end of a difficult cleansing week. I have to tell you, it is helping me get through these last few days.

And going on the Internet searching for the places of your dreams, has been interesting, too.