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Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Popsicle Hands

I'm not going to get all morbid on you or write a post that brings you down and make you want to cry and wish that you had never popped on to my blog, but I will tell you that I thought about my death for the first time in my life, this morning.

Don't go calling 911 or my sister because it's not like I am wishing to end my life. On the contrary, I love every single day that I wake up and breathe. It's just a tiny little thought that snuck out and is surrounding me this morning.

You see, my hands are freezing cold. And remember, I live in Scottsdale, AZ where it's probably going to be 65 degrees today. They are just icy cold and I cannot seem to do anything about it. I drank three cups of coffee; I tried sitting on them until I got a little excited and that was distracting so I put on my leather driving gloves but it was impossible to type, so I'm back to square one. I start visualizing my death and dying in general.

So, my circulation is clogged up today, so what. So, I start to think about that day that I discover that I have a fatal disease or cancer and how I will process this information. Will I write a post about this discovery and then email it out to my family members? Probably not. I will talk to all my loved ones individually. I have a will and I am set up in the financial categories and I'm glad because that would be a real bummer to have to work on those details in my last few weeks or months of living.

I'd like to think that I wouldn't change my lifestyle and go on a "rest-of-my-life vacation" or stay inebriated for days at a time because if that's really how I want to live, I should be acting that way right now. Why wait until we're near death to do such things?

Now that I think about it, my hands are frosty cold today to serve as a reminder that life is precious and there's no time like the present to live it well and with meaning. It's time to put these Popsicle hands to good use.

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Blogger Casey said...

Heh, sorry about the popsicle hands today. I'm in FL and I have popsicle toes.... go figure. Try putting them in your armpits to warm them up. Gross, but warm. :)
We, like you, have our wills setup and our finances in place should something ever happen to us. I can't think of anything I would change if I knew the end was near. I'd probably lay off the blogging and spend more time with the kids.

December 9, 2008 at 3:34 PM  
Blogger Captain Dumbass said...

Hi, Longtime Lurker. I also suffer from cold hands, but I always have so no thoughts of death for me. Try moving your head from side to side. It also works for getting the pins and needles feeling too.

Also wanted to mention that you have one of my favourite looking blogs.

December 9, 2008 at 3:57 PM  
Blogger beth said...

Captain Dumbass: Thanks. Dwight Getting ( my web designer and he is amazing!

December 9, 2008 at 4:42 PM  
Anonymous Shelly said...

Beth, Cold hands warm heart is your diagnosis. I was just thinking on my way home tonight how wonderfully lucky I am to live in Arizona and that I get to enjoy these cold sunny winter days.

December 9, 2008 at 7:50 PM  
Anonymous Karmyn R said...

Do cold toes signify the same thing? Because I can NEVER warm mine up - unless they are on my husband's back in the middle of the night (insert evil laugh here).

I don't think it is wrong to think about death. It is a natural process of life and the older one gets the more we tend to think about it, I think.

December 10, 2008 at 12:21 PM  
Blogger June said...

I used to always have freezing hands and a cold nose - just like a dog. I think the older I get, the warmer I get. Anyone else? Maybe I'm just fatter now, who knows!!!

December 11, 2008 at 5:29 PM  

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