Single Blog Stalking Continues and Grocery Store Mayhem
There are still a few moments a day I venture out of my little office and interact with real, live people. And I must say, that the people I ran into at Trader Joe's today were certainly lively!
I never got the memo that at some point in the day, all fresh turkeys would be gone, and possibly the yams and the chicken broth will also be unavailable. Apparently everyone else in the store had gotten the memo and the race was on to capture these final ingredients first. The 4'8" lady with the purple scarf around her neck chose the outside lane and began to make her bold move. She was speaking in tongues and I think she said my past was going to be exposed in a very public way, or something to that effect. I slowed down and let the evil, tiny woman pass me.
Wondering about what poor souls would be feasting with the scarfed woman, I must have stopped to a dead halt, causing a major traffic jam just short of the table with the remaining yams. I was being eyed by the mysterious and dark man to my left. He was holding a page printed from a recipe off the Internet, called 'Mini-Marshmallow Sweet Potato Casserole'. He appeared obviously flustered about something, and I suspect it was due to the fact that Trader Joe's probably doesn't carry mini-marshmallows. He wasn't going home empty-handed that was for sure, so he began to push through my stalled cart using his massive muscles and added adrenaline. "Hey buddy, stop pushing," I say. Maybe he doesn't speak English because he throws me a look that says, step away from the yams or else; so I turn left and face the dried peas and apricots that no one seems interested in.
I begin to wonder aimlessly through the aisles (why are their aisles set on an angle, anyway?) looking for the organic chicken broth. Now, mind you, I'll probably mix this organic broth with other items that are chemically-enhanced but this is what I think I need. Aisle after aisle and I cannot locate the broth anywhere. Or any staff person to ask where they've hidden the chicken broth. Ten minutes past. I begin to sweat. I've run into the same athletic, and very shapely woman several times; each time she sort of flips her thick mane around and gives me that certain smile. It's the "don't worry old woman, you'll find what you are looking for eventually" smile. I grunt back at her and tell her to have a good day! I decide to hell with the broth, I'll get some at a different store. The real reason I came here was a friend of mine who's a personal chef, told me that Trader Joe's has excellent fresh turkeys. So, I head back to the store where a food demonstration is taking place.
It turns out that there is no demonstration, only angry people yelling at one of the granola staffers about running out of the fresh turkeys. Apparently, it is the young staffers' fault that all the turkeys have been bought and that the next shipment doesn't arrive until tomorrow morning. Shame on her. She's really getting it now. One woman asks her, "didn't they know how many people would be coming for their turkeys today?". Another woman and her seventeen children with the runny noses says that she doesn't have time to come back tomorrow. (Probably time to make another baby). I slowly back my cart up and try to remove myself from this ugly encounter. (Why didn't I speak up for this poor little worker bee and make all those mean people feel stupid for acting so childish?)
It's time to check out. I am feeling guilty because once again, I have forgotten to bring my reusable grocery bags. Standing in front of me is Miss Athletic Superstar with the thick hair and Nike sports ensemble. I have the urge to tell her I found the item I was looking for and hold up some item to prove it, but she never turns around.
Warning to all of you who will be grocery shopping in the next couple of days:
Wear elbow pads, if you have them;
Wait to get your nails done until after all shopping is complete;
Don't forget to bring your reusable bags;
and bring your patience and your smiles as you will need them both!