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Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Popsicle Hands

I'm not going to get all morbid on you or write a post that brings you down and make you want to cry and wish that you had never popped on to my blog, but I will tell you that I thought about my death for the first time in my life, this morning.

Don't go calling 911 or my sister because it's not like I am wishing to end my life. On the contrary, I love every single day that I wake up and breathe. It's just a tiny little thought that snuck out and is surrounding me this morning.

You see, my hands are freezing cold. And remember, I live in Scottsdale, AZ where it's probably going to be 65 degrees today. They are just icy cold and I cannot seem to do anything about it. I drank three cups of coffee; I tried sitting on them until I got a little excited and that was distracting so I put on my leather driving gloves but it was impossible to type, so I'm back to square one. I start visualizing my death and dying in general.

So, my circulation is clogged up today, so what. So, I start to think about that day that I discover that I have a fatal disease or cancer and how I will process this information. Will I write a post about this discovery and then email it out to my family members? Probably not. I will talk to all my loved ones individually. I have a will and I am set up in the financial categories and I'm glad because that would be a real bummer to have to work on those details in my last few weeks or months of living.

I'd like to think that I wouldn't change my lifestyle and go on a "rest-of-my-life vacation" or stay inebriated for days at a time because if that's really how I want to live, I should be acting that way right now. Why wait until we're near death to do such things?

Now that I think about it, my hands are frosty cold today to serve as a reminder that life is precious and there's no time like the present to live it well and with meaning. It's time to put these Popsicle hands to good use.

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