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Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Remembering That October 5th Is My Birthday

Divorce is a funny seriously, some aspects of divorce are really quite hysterical.  Most of us who have experienced the "D" word up close and personal, have at least one or two stories that looking back on, we can laugh out loud about now.  They probably weren't too funny when they were occurring but time has a way of softening the edges and emotions of a traumatic going through a divorce.

As far as divorces go, mine was as civil and respectful as they can get, even though my life was being turned upside down and inside out.  I was relatively new to Arizona with most of this time spent indoors and keeping to myself, being pregnant with my youngest child.  I had a great group of neighbors and a few doctor's wives that I had started to get acquainted....that was it.

After the divorce, there was a brief period of time when I stayed home with the kids and my adult conversations consisted of talking to the pool man and the Domino's pizza delivery person. It's bad when your pool guy sits you down and says, "you know my schedule better than I do......I think it's time to get out into the working world and expand your horizons".....

He was right, of course, so quickly I found a job where I could ease into the work environment and maybe have a little social time, too.  Not dating.....just NOT talking to children about boo boos and coloring and telling the brothers that it is not nice to spit on their new baby sister! 

October rolled around and I was fitting in comfortably in my new work and babysitter arrangements. October 5th was no different than other days....I raced around, got the kids to school and set up the nanny with my daughter.  I drove to work arriving five minutes late.  I skip lunch so that I may leave a few minutes early to see the kids that I was missing terribly.  I relieve the nanny and head back to the boy's bathroom where yet another pair of undies have been flushed down the toilet.

The phone rings and it's my sister....and she is singing 'Happy Birthday' to me and all of a sudden I realize that I completely forgot my own birthday.  No one at work knew when my birthday was, no neighbor probably knew it was my special day and the kids were too young to know of such dates.  But, as I was talking to my sister, I realized that the kids should know and how was I going to tell them in a responsible way.  I got off the phone and broke into tears.

Exactly what happened next is very fuzzy but I think I called DJ, my wonderful next door neighbor, and told her my predicament.  Then, I think she came over and when I was back in my room changing and taking a shower, she helped the kids make homemade cards for me.  She would take care of me like that on numerous occasions in that first crazy year of being divorced.  (Remind me to tell you about stripping down to nothing in her front yard after walking a babysitter home one night!).

Anyway, when I returned to the kitchen, the kids sang Happy Birthday to me with big smiles on their faces.  They each handed me their beautiful homemade cards and gave me big hugs and kisses.......a Mother's favorite gift of all.  It was important to our family to celebrate at this crazy time in our lives. 

Today, like every birthday since that crazy day, I look back and laugh.  This, of course, would never happen Facebook friends would remind me and there's probable even an app on my phone to remind me of important dates.  But I will forever to be thankful and have always been blessed to be surrounded with good people and family.  

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

Happy birthday, Beth! That's a great post. I've never been married, but I've certainly had turbulent times in my life. Your article is a good reminder of what's important in our lives.

October 5, 2011 at 6:03 PM  
Anonymous lisa said...

Happy birthday!!!! I have never forgotten my birthday, though I wish I could! I hate getting older! LOL I hope you had a really wonderful day!

P.S. If you're seeing this comment it means that I had no problems commenting on your blog. :)

October 5, 2011 at 10:39 PM  
Anonymous Karen said...

Happy Birthday! I hope you had a great day. I consider the month as my birthday month so I can be spoiled longer.

October 6, 2011 at 8:10 AM  
Blogger Cherie Lenore said...

Happy Birthday!
What a wonderful support group you have around you. I just recently was able to be a stay at home mom and I realize I don't have that support group. Am struggling to find friends which I never thought I would be doing. Thanks for sharing that memory...glad you can laugh about it now.
Thanks so much for the visit. I really appreciate the comments. Will be back to visit you!

October 6, 2011 at 9:59 AM  
Blogger Nisha Jackson said...

Life's transitions can be difficult sometimes. However, the key is to "choose to live joyfully". Always, take care of you! I totally understand the "adult interaction" thing, we need that. Though it may be overwhelming at times (or never ending), being a parent, especially a single parent the toughest job. Particularly, challenging if you strive to be the best parent you can be. I invite you to join me on facebook @nishajackson or twitter. We have a blast and lots of support/connections to be made.

By the way, even if your children understand your birthday doesn't mean they will celebrate you. Believe me I know. I started celebrating me "all week long" and they eventually got they message. In short, celebrate "you". Know that you are powerful, capable and brilliant!

Oh and, "Happy belated birthday". Mine is 12/24, so imagine how many have forgot mine! Now that I'm an adult, I can do what I want and I do, tehe!

Much success to you...

October 6, 2011 at 6:10 PM  

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