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Saturday, March 19, 2011

A Dollar Short and a Day Late

Inner Mongolia: reign of sandImage by chinadialogue.net via FlickrIt's 4:30 am on Saturday morning and I am just getting to writing my post for the 40 and over Follow Friday group!  (Click on the picture to find out more).  Eight hours late has pretty much been the story of my week.  It seems I get three important things done, but there were nine more important items left untouched. (Which naturally my 'Zemanta' source is providing me with a picture of Horse Riding in Inner Mongolia!  WTH?! Does anyone else find that hysterically funny?)

But maybe that's exactly what I was missing this week.  A little break from the real world work that is piling up my desk next to the computer.  Just a nice simple horse ride in Inner Mongolia.....

It's been an interesting week, with a nice little St. Patrick's Day celebration thrown in there.  It started at 7 am, when some great neighbors got up very early and made us the best Irish Coffee concoction.  They handed us these drinks over their backyard fence in cups to take along while we walked our dogs on the golf course.  It was a perfect start to the day, if you ask me.  Then I proceeded to waste away the remainder of the day until I met my husband and his work buddies for a few too many beers.  (I would show you pictures but I brought the camera without the battery. URGH!)  Let's just say....cars had to be picked up on Friday morning!

So, my to-do list includes finishing the website content for this fantastic landscape company, some serious spring cleaning around the house, complete more details for my son's wedding, and oh yes....I need to rob a bank!

Procrastination is a sneaky thing.  Mine comes in the form of a laptop and an internet connection.  But I am strong....I am invincible....I am an empty nest woman!  I will keeping plugging along and with any luck, I will sleep better. 

Have a great weekend!
 
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Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Step Away From the Glue Gun

A glue gun. Picture by Luke Surl I hearby rele...Image via Wikipedia

Why is it that every Christmas, we feel the need to visit our 'inner craft child' and attempt to decorate the house with homemade items?  The whole year can go by where I have not created one original or handmade item, but come the first Christmas tune on the radio, my head fills with new wreath designs or a clever design for napkin rings made with tiny little beads.  This year is no exception.

Having little disposable income for new wreaths, I decided to re-purpose the two large wreaths that adorn the outside of my home.  I bought them about nine years ago from Berridge Nurseries, one of the best in town.  They once were brightly lit, and had hundreds of balls and ribbon running through them.  When I brought them out of the garage this week, the ribbons were torn, the balls have all faded (nasty Arizona sun!) and some of the strings of lights were burnt out.

"It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...."  That's it!  I will remake these wreaths and bring them back to their original splendor!  Off to the store I flew....................

Finding big plastic balls or shiny metal but inexpensive balls turned out to be quite the task.  Lowe's probably had the best selection, which I only found out after visiting about 15 boutique and Holiday shops in town!  Great ribbon was everywhere, all with a hefty price tag.  But I was on a roll (or four), so I chose a red plaid 3" ribbon .  Getting the lights was the easiest item to purchase, (but probably the hardest part of this particular project). I head home ready to begin my project.

The kitchen becomes Beth's workshop.  No dinner tonight, as I need all the counter space for the wreaths.  " With a corncob pipe and a button nose and two eyes made out of coal"


Next, I bring out my prized, state-of-the-art Task Force Glue Gun.  I got this sucker about four Christmases ago.  The large gun features a "trigger-feed clutch, large heating chamber and includes a safety stand".  120V/40W..... But my motto is "120, 121....whatever it takes", so I pull this black and red baby out of its plastic container and plug it in.    

First, I cram the new set of lights into the plastic branches and attempt to mimic the way the nursery had created it years ago.  It's too hard to remove the old strands as they have been glued in tightly.  The ribbon is a pain in the neck to do, so I decide not to pull the ribbon threw and just make nice, big bows for the wreaths.  The ribbon part is way above my craft skill level to do and make it look decent.  On to the balls....

"Santa Baby....so hurry down the chimney tonight...."  I singing to the songs that are playing loudly now on the television channel.  I should have poured myself a nice glass of wine, but the busy little elf was just too focused on her wreath creation.

WASHINGTON - JANUARY 25:  Task Force Co-Chair ...Image by Getty Images via @daylifeThe old balls have been removed and the glue gun is hot to trot, so to speak.  It takes about eight minutes before the glue is gooey and ready to spew out of it's nozzle.  I place the hot glue on the first ball and press it into the open area and hold for about 15 seconds and WALLAH... the ball is permanently stuck on the wreath!

(Excuse me for a moment, but I have to share this random note with you...Okay, so as I type, my Zemanta is updating relevant pictures and stories for my blog post, that I can add if I so chose.  The last sentence in the post brought up.....Alice Rivkin, task force co-chair during the new conference on the budget and spending!  How bizarre!  She did remind me of a little ELF sitting so small in stature next to the other task force members, in her little red jacket......and the glue gun is a Task Force Glue Gun....hmmm......).

Anyway, I'm in full craft mode and Holiday spirit at this time.

"I want a F_ _KING Hippopotamus for Christmas!"  (The "F" word slipped out!). Then, I let out the loudest, blood-curdling scream as the hot glue has touched the end of the finger and the skin bubbled up into a huge blister before the end of the song's next line!  Seriously, I have never seen anything like it.  It was like a scene out of an old B-rated science fiction show where the aliens burn the skin right off your body.  So painful!  If you have kids around, do not let them by this skin-eating machine.  No matter fun it is to use! Or wear heavy gloves, which I used to complete my project. 

The wreaths are up and they look quite beautiful.  My finger is recovering from the third-degree burn.  And I have the Task Force Glue Gun to thank, as I have no further craft plans planned for this Holiday season.  It has cured this empty nest Mom from her 'inner craft child' for now.  It's just too scary!







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Friday, October 8, 2010

Hiding From the Jury Duty Police

PET scan of a human brain with Alzheimer's diseaseImage via Wikipedia
During my daily phone conversation with my sister, I kind of blurt out that I forgot to dress in my pearls and head down to the court on the day my jury duty was supposed to start, and start my very unoriginal rant about how I think all men are zombies in disguise and need to be disposed of for the good of all womanhood. 


June: "OMG, Beth.  That is very bad.  You do know they can come to your door and arrest you, right?"

Me: "Yeah, so."

June: "So, you need to get this fixed.  You need to call them so you're not in trouble."


Me: "What should I say....that my Alzheimer's is getting worse...and it completely passed my mind?' (which is really the truth......and yes, that is a pet scan of the Alzheimer's disease that Zemanta thought I should add to this post for your pleasure!  You're welcome.)


June: "This is serious...hang up this phone and take care of this right now."


The whole conversation made me very hungry, so I head to the candy table and proceed to eat all the Halloween candy in my path.

Why can't they just leave me alone!

So, I guess that Monday, I will don my pearls and head down to the court to please insanity.  But, I think it would be best to leave such important matters to people who are interested in this sort of thing.  I would be......
                                        too opinionated

                                        too bored to sit that long with texting or tweeting

People's lives are at stake and the government wants me to judge their behavior??? I have a hard enough time controlling my own behavior, for goodness sakes.

Wish me luck......................               


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