The Tortured Empty Nest Mom

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Today, I am a tortured empty nest Mom.  No, I am not tied up naked in a basement waiting for my late afternoon whipping.  But I imagine it feels about the same.  I am stuck, lethargic, antsy and missing my kids so much today.

I spoke to Laura for a few minutes.  She's in the Florida Keys at a camp.  She's going to be a "windsurfing assistant" and study the sea life and generally have a blast.  She called because she needs me to help her do something that needs to get completed for her college by July 1st.  I am busy setting my weather channel setting on the computer for Florida and worry about future hurricanes...

I spoke to JB yesterday.  He's in Cincinnati but is coming to Phoenix for Memorial Weekend!  I am so excited, but why is it that every time right before they come to town, I get stuck, somehow.  I should be cooking and cleaning but cannot seem to get around to these chores. I make a list of all the things I'd like to discuss with him now and print it, so I don't forget them when he's here....

I spoke to Andy to make plans when JB is in town.  I get to see them Friday and Sunday and he will be with his Dad on Saturday.  Andy always knows the details.  I hang up and take a deep breath.....no wedding announcement yet.  He and Kimmie have been dating a long time and every time he calls, I prepare myself for hearing this and what I will say.  Will I ever be ready for this call.....from any of my children?!

Comfort is hard to find.  I am supposed to be adjusted to this empty nest position by now, right?  Sadly, it goes in waves and can be very intense like today or I can go a day without hardly wondering about my children.  Pizza might be comforting tonight!  And wine.  But after losing all this weight I am hesitant about going to my old favorite comfort zones.  Sex usually helps and is comforting, but its probably not right to attack Bill the minute he gets in the door, either.

So, I am doing what most empty nest people do..... nothing.  Except writing to you.  Which does make me feel much better, thank you!