Dear Bethy Answers Your Most Pressing Halloween Questions

For Day 14 in the Ultimate Blog Challenge, it is suggested that we write an advice column, which is so up my alley...........................

Dear Bethy:

The Halloween season is upon us and I would love your suggestion as to which type of candy I should over-indulge in this year? signed-frustrated..............................

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Dear Frustrated: The answer is quite simple.  You should run to the store and stock up on Candy Corn. With only 150 for every 22 pieces, you will hard it hard to go over the daily recommended 2000 calorie count before you get sick on such sweet goodness! I find eating candy that resembles my physical shape very comforting.  I do however, warn you against getting creative and making decorations with candy corn; you may start acting all "sticky-witchy".....watch what happens towards the end of this video:


http://www.thatsfit.com/videos-partner/how-to-make-a-halloween-candy-corn-tree-517169684-62  (Hope you can see this; it would not embed properly for me)

Dear Bethy:

I am 52 years old and have been invited to an adult Halloween costume party and wondering if you think its a good idea to go as a sexy nurse or a purty cat?  My legs are still in pretty decent shape. signed- sexy Momma

Dear Sexy Momma:


I suggest you have your decent shaped legs walk you straight to the psychologists office!  Do you have any idea why so many people secretly wish to be a tramp for one night a year?  Either do I!  Besides, you could get hurt or worse yet, you could hurt someone wearing that sort of outfit.  I would prefer you dress as Mr. Green Jeans or a wicked witch or better yet, a ghost! 

Dear Bethy:

My kids are all grown up and not living at home any more.  Do I still have to use up all my monthly disposable income on candy for the neighborhood kids?  And do I have to waste the whole night hanging around the front door, ready to give the candy to the trick-or-treaters....while my husband sits comfortably in front of the TV in the den? signed-tortured

Dear Tortured:


Why..............YES and YES!!!!

Bethy wishes everyone a happy, safe Halloween! 

Candy Corn Addiction

Just because the kids are off at college and the nest is empty, that does not stop me from decorating my house from head to toe for Halloween. Who cares that no one will see each little table covered with fall leaves, pumpkins and scary ghosts. I am sure Husband Bill thinks I have lost my mind a bit and Wrigley thinks the cinnamon potpourri smells quite yummy. When you live in Arizona and the weather is still reaching 90+ degrees during the day, decorations are the only way you know to tell it is the Fall Season.

Perhaps the goofiest thing I have done is to fill this cute white ghost bowl with this very dangerous mix of candy corn in various shapes, jelly beans and sprinkled gumdrops. Bill has such great willpower and never touches candy. The dog wants to eat it, so I cannot leave the bowl on the table. It is now tucked up on a high shelf of the bookcase. So, it is my civic duty to eat the entire bowl of candy corn goodness ("waste not want not"). I cannot walk past the living room without indulging in some Halloween sugar! This has some serious ramifications!

Warning! Do not eat huge amounts of candy corn of else the following will occur:

1) Uncontrollable Urge to eat them all until you're sick to your stomach;

2) Future visit to the dentist;

3) Onset of massive headache approximately 25 minutes after you have indulged;

4) Discussions to yourself on all the reasons to buy more once the bowl is depleted;

5) (And this is the worst!) The smelliest gas you will ever experience.

I confess to you, my loyal readers of Emtnester, on this Saturday afternoon:

I, Beth Southworth, am addicted to candy corn. I have no control over this Halloween substance. I will find ways to purchase it and devour as much of it as I an find. I don't care if I overdose. It's the candy corn speaking!