Life Moves Past You

I leave tomorrow for my middle son's college graduation and I can't seem to pack. I cannot decide what to wear. I can't seem to be prepared for this momentous occasion. It's as if I am saying that if I am not ready then it won't happen. Which is crazy talk even for an empty nest Mom.

And why don't I want it to happen? I am thrilled he is graduating, so it's not that. I think that life keeps moving by me (past me?) and I feel I have no control over anything anymore. He's moving on to his first job in Columbus, Ohio. I get to see him for three days and then who knows when I'll see him next. I really enjoy being around him as he makes me feel good. He makes me laugh. He reminds that I am a good Mom and that is something I need right now. Validation.

Really, all three of my children validate my existence very well. Of course, I have my own life: working, being Bill's wife, sister to my sister, daughter to my Mom, slave to my dog (just kidding). But I think the Mom part has been perhaps the largest and most important part for many years. This is one of those big transitions and I am off-the-chart emotional right now.

I wish I had the kind of relationship with my husband where he "fills the void", but that's just not how we work together. If I told him that I was having trouble packing...etc...he would look at me cross-eyed and not have a clue that a big hug would be in order. Or say, "why don't we grab a beer and pack together tonight!".

So, the pictures from graduation will show me in unmatched outfits, the wrong jewelry and inappropriate shoes and there's nothing I can about it. Maybe someday I will sit back, look at these pictures and laugh hysterically.

Here goes nothing...

Flying High and Being Forgetful

Today, I was blissfully going about my busy day when I answered the daily phone call from my sister. I told her I was loving my new marketing assignment and that everything was going smoothly, just like in the video:







She said, "Great. By the way, who's watching Wrigley while you are up at Jonathan's graduation?" Oops! All of a sudden, I come crashing down to Earth and start a mini-panic. What if I can't find someone to watch him? What would have happened if I had forgotten completely? Luckily, I was able to secure a great dog sitter right away. But all these random thoughts in my head might one day get me into some serious trouble! Go over to Keely's place to read all about random thoughts in the blogworld. We do it every Tuesday and you should, too.